I’ve recently discovered something about myself. I love bougie soaps. I like to unwrap a big brick of Duke Cannon or something with a strong wood or pine scent. Something manly. I’m also very frugal, so there’s a name I encounter often but rarely entertain: Dr. Squatch.

They’re small and they’re EXPENSIVE. I’ve gotten them before (at Ross dress for less, an excellent source for discounted boutique soaps) and they do smell nice, but I just didn’t get the hype. They’re sold everywhere and seem to be quite popular. WHY?

So I researched it. Two whole shits’ worth. And I’m here to tell you my findings.

Dr. Squatch doesn’t keep their scents around long. They’re here and if you like them….better buy a bunch. Cause they’re moving on to the next thing soon. This makes them, believe it or not, quite collectible. The Reddit community for this soap is quite passionate. They erect Squatch shrines….

They mount Squatch to their walls like fine art…

They play Squatch games….

And they share with their brothers in Squatch where the deals on the soaps are….

I didn’t find a direct answer to my question (New York post reports: Squatch has solid gold flakes in it and that’s why it costs so much) I found something that aids me in reading the writing on the wall: you’re not just buying soap. You’re buying an experience. You’re buying a ticket to a world you didn’t even know existed and soon it may not. You’re buying your one chance to smell this one way. Maybe it’s worth it.